loud pipes save lifes my ass
Posted on | March 16, 2009 | 1 Comment
It’s spring time! Time to turn off the furnace and open up your windows to let in that cool breeze and fresh air. Ahhh, nothing like letting the curtains blow as the chilly air gives you a reason to snuggle up under the covers and fall asleep knowing that tomorrow will be a nice, warm, short-wearing day.
BRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAP BRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAP RUMBLE RUMBLE RUMBLE
WTF was that!?! Oh crap, the guys with the fart pipe motorcycles and muscle cars realized that its warm enough for them to go cruise around town and annoy the hell out of everyone.
Look, its not that i hate you for being an obnoxious inconsiderate asshole, well ok, maybe a little bit. I hate you for your idiotic excuses and failed logic.
Telling me that loud pipes save lifes makes you look even more idiotic than that little black cereal bowl helmet and the leather chaps. (ok ok, i think leather chaps are pretty cool, as long as you’re wearing pants underneath them)
Seriously. If YOU need to be loud so other people can see/hear you and not run you over, something is not aligned. Here’s how logic works. You break it down to the root problem, which in this case, is ‘some drivers aren’t observant enough to see motorcycles’
That’s the problem. It can’t be phrased as “people don’t see us” or “we’re invisible” because its simply not true. It would be like me hating EVERYONE with a loud fart-pipe bike simply because a few idiots own them and annoy me. I understand that you’re not ALL idiots – please understand that not EVERYONE who decides to drive a normal car lacks the ability to see you in their mirrors without and audible aid.
Now lets find a solution to the problem. Hmm, well, if there are drivers who aren’t observant enough to see motorcycles, maybe we should take them off the road. That statement is left ambiguous on purpose. Do we remove the people who aren’t observant enough to see motorcycles? Or do we remove the motorcycles? Neither really seems like a practical solution. Lets explore further.
Oooh, here’s one. Lets *modify* bikers’ prescense to make them more noticable! Flashy colors and lights are always good. How about bikers have to wear rainbow tights that glow in the dark or under UV light. Topped with a bright pink helmet with a built in white strobe like school buses have! That will surely work!
Why NOT make the pipes loud and throaty? Well here’s the deal. For starters. Its illegal for normal cars and trucks to go unmuffled. I’ve been pulled over for being unmuffled in a car, and that car was SOOOO much quieter than the average harley. It’s illegal for people to have their stereos too loud – its dangerous for the driver (makes it so they can’t hear horns and sirens) AND it noise pollutes (annoys the hell out of people trying to relax in their homes). WHY IN THE HELL IS IT OK for motorcycles to be so ridiculously loud?
What comes after ‘for starters’? This. Noise doesn’t make people aware of you until you’ve already passed them. Do people claiming that loud pipes save lives ever ride in a real car? You don’t hear bikes unless:
a) they’re right next to you. If you need to make them aware of this, there’s a problem. See above statements about observant drivers.
b) they’ve just passed you. This is when they’re loudest. Thanks. I’m aware that you’ve passed me and are shitting black smelly exhaust in my face as well as 120 decibals of ass thunder into my ears.
c) when they go by in the other direction. “Hey Billy, hear that bike go by in the other lane? I wonder if they’re going where we just came from!?” BFD – is this awareness needed? Maybe if we were coming from hoover dam, but hoover dam is closed for some odd reason. We could turn around and catch you and notify you that the dam is closed today. No.
d) when we’re in our homes, enjoying the quiet evening air. bikes ruin it by being as loud as possible from every single stop light that they stop at. Yes. I’m aware that its a nice night already. I don’t need to be reminded, I’ll just close my windows and pretend that its still winter 
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July 1st, 2009 @ 8:29 pm
I usually just say… ‘Stop your whining’.. that’s what the ‘Cheap-Pipes’ riders always do….(Cheap-Pipes…Cheap-Pipes…Cheap-Pipes… In a high ptiched way, that’s sort of what they sound like,,, Cheap!)
They all come up with the same, lame excuses… Stop You Whining! and be polite…
BUT… You said it better…. Loud Fart-Pipe bikes…
BRAVO…